Once upon a time I was gonna take the world by storm. I was going make a difference. I was going do great and wonderful things. I was going travel and explore and lead people to new and exciting discoveries. I would be famous and inspire others into leading a life of discovery. I was going to be SOMEBODY!
When I was a little girl reading the stories of pioneers heading out west and the hardships they endured I was determined that when I grew up I was going to go discover new lands and forge new nations. Or if there wasnt any new land to discover I was going to go into the uncharted territories and brave the wilderness and isolation in order to claim and tame the new lands. I wanted to be another Laura Ingles Wilder, or a Calamity Jane, or a Mary Fields. I wanted to go on a Lewis and Clark expedition. I wanted to sail the rough seas and climb mountains in search of new unblemished lands.
Reading the stories of Florence Nightingale, Marie Curie, Clara Barton, Louisa May ALcott and others I was going to be a great nurse or scientist and help people in their weakest moments. I would bravely and boldly go to the war zones and minster to the wounded. I would soothe fevered brows, treat gangrene, change bandages. I would make an incredible scientific discovery that would save millions of lives. I would win a Nobel Prize.
As I read the stories of the crusaders and the missionaries like Fr. Damien, Isaac Jogues, Francis Xavier, Mother Theresa, who went to foreign lands spreading the Gospel to the heathen people I was on fire to do the same. They faced certain death and endless hardships and torture and yet they still persevered in spreading the Good News. I too was determined that I would travel to far away exotic lands spreading the good news of Jesus. I was ready to suffer and face all the hardships necessary in order to help save souls.
Reading the exciting adventures of Joan of Arc, Amelia Earhart, Cleopatra, Susan B. Anthony, Sally Ride and Annie Oakley made me determined to learn to do anything a man could do, only do it better. I would be a woman, but I would make my place in a man's world and they would all sit up and take notice.
The works of Leo Tolstoy, Shakespeare, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Boris Pasternak, Emily Dickinson, Anne Frank, Walt Whitman, made me fall in love with the written word and how it could inspire social change, move people to laughter, anger, sorrow and tears. The depth of emotion portrayed by the written word made me want to be an author of world renown. I was going to write books that inspired, motivated, comforted, led, evoked deep lasting life changing emotion. I would be known far and wide for my poetic prose, my deep understanding of human emotion and frailties and idiosyncrasies.
Once upon a time I was going to be noticed. I was going to do things..... important things.
Alas my once upon a time dreams have not come to fruition. I have not taken the world by storm. I have not brought about great change, or made important discoveries. I have not traveled to exotic lands preaching the Good News. Men have not sat up and taken notice that I was within their midst riding, and shooting and exploring and being their equal. I have not been an angel of mercy to men in agony on the battle field. I have not become a great leader inspiring loyalty and a love of God and country in my fellowman. I have not done anything grand or spectacular or particularly note worthy. I have not changed the world in any big way.
But maybe on a much smaller scale I have helped change the world. I am a "nurse" and minister to those in need when sickness, pain or injury strikes. I'm a "pioneer" and an "explorer of exotic lands" as I open young minds to the wonderful world we live in and how much there is to expolore and do and conquer. I am a "fearless missionary" when I talk of Jesus and teach the Gospel and try to put into practice in my everyday ordinary life what I preach and believe. I am a "fearless leader" to my children as I try to instill in them good morals, ethics, and values. My writings aren't anything spectacular or life changing, but perhaps they do bring comfort or laughter to those who read them. I know that in reality I am living a pretty obscure life, but that's OK, because in my own little corner of the Universe I have made a difference. And that's enough for me!
love this!!! i too, grew up thinking a lot of the same things as you. it's only recently that i realized the same...we do change the world, by our every action, in our every decision, in every moment. thanks for the great post!!!
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